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jooliandix 12:05 Sun Apr 28
Come on admit it,have you ever shat yourself as an adult ?

I’ve done it,in the Mongolian restaurant in Covent Garden,too much beer,too much spicy food,only one shitter and a bloke was in it doing bugle,I was doubled up in pain,as he opened the door I stood up and shit myself in one fluid motion,I only had my socks and pants to clean up with,the wife went crazy,the only saving grace was the cab to take me home was a Tottenham fan,I ruined his night as well as my wife’s.

BRANDED 12:10 Sun Apr 28
Re: Come on admit it,have you ever shat yourself as an adult ?

Yessssssss.

Shit thread

Bernie 12:19 Sun Apr 28
Re: Come on admit it,have you ever shat yourself as an adult ?

Yep,

More than once.

You're not a real man unless you have

Takashi Miike 12:26 Sun Apr 28
Re: Come on admit it,have you ever shat yourself as an adult ?

yes, worst one was at a christmas party in the city, Carter while having a piss and left a deposit. had to ditch the pants and go commando for the remainder of the night 😷

Takashi Miike 12:27 Sun Apr 28
Re: Come on admit it,have you ever shat yourself as an adult ?

*farted*


not Carter? 😂

Far Cough 12:28 Sun Apr 28
Re: Come on admit it,have you ever shat yourself as an adult ?

Yes, walking home from a game the other week I thought I'd squeeze one out, fatal error, I shat myself, to be fair, I was suffering from terrible constipation

diehardhammer 12:58 Sun Apr 28
Re: Come on admit it,have you ever shat yourself as an adult ?

Yep about a month ago, heavy night on the Beers and bugle, hadn’t eaten all day.

Sitting in living room with mates discussing the night out the morning after then trusted a wet fart and a unfortunately a little shit came out

Cue waddle to the loo whilst laughing

zebthecat 1:44 Sun Apr 28
Re: Come on admit it,have you ever shat yourself as an adult ?

Yes, Salmonella poisining.
The shitting yourself bit was pretty minor compared to the rest of it.

Leonard Hatred 1:25 Sun Apr 28
Re: Come on admit it,have you ever shat yourself as an adult ?

Once a week, regular as clockwork.

Manuel 1:38 Sun Apr 28
Re: Come on admit it,have you ever shat yourself as an adult ?

I have, it was only yesterday, in the 93rd minute..

bruuuno 2:21 Sun Apr 28
Re: Come on admit it,have you ever shat yourself as an adult ?

Fella I know shit himself badly on the train late one night coming home from work, wearing a suit.

He jettisoned his trousers and pants but put everything back on and hid in the carsey until his stop. He then legged it through the train and platform naked from the waist down.

He got to his car in the station car park only to get pulled over by the old bill on the drive home and get done for drunk driving. What a shit night

eusebiovic 12:49 Mon Apr 29
Re: Come on admit it,have you ever shat yourself as an adult ?

There used to be this place opposite Clapham Common called "Tiger Lils" about 20 years ago - which was previously a Wimpy Bar.

It was like a buffet place which cooked the food in woks in front of you with the soy sauce/fish sauce after choosing your ingredients from the said buffet - long before this had become the fashionable trendy option of today.

After leaving I got the tube to Kennington - a very short journey of 4 stops. My belly started to rumble at Stockwell and my sphincter was puckering by Oval.

By the time we were approaching Kennington I didn't know whether to stand up or stay seated to keep it in until the next stop at Waterloo in the naive hope that the storm would pass my underpants would be redeemed. The stool water had already started to break and I was in a blind panic.

Got off at Kennington and breathed a sigh of relief as I got up the first flight of stairs without misshap. As I got halfway up the second flight I missplaced my step and lost my balance as I corrected myself it happened...a shart with the follow through of an oil slick.

Humiliated, I gingerly limped towards the lift and was greatful that nobody else had the misfortune of sharing the space with me and made my way out towards home which was a 10 minute walk.

First thing I did when I got home was step in the shower and put a washing machine on at approximately 1AM.

I wonder how much of this street food stuff in covered markets still regularly does this to others today?

dm 12:53 Mon Apr 29
Re: Come on admit it,have you ever shat yourself as an adult ?

When I had Gastroenteritis. that was horrible. incredibly bad stomach pains, vomiting, . plus waking up to find I had shat myself in my sleep.
One good thing came out of it I lost about a stone and a half

Whitester. 2:28 Mon Apr 29
Re: Come on admit it,have you ever shat yourself as an adult ?

I did at my youngest Daughters nativity play a couple of years ago.

Westham67 2:36 Mon Apr 29
Re: Come on admit it,have you ever shat yourself as an adult ?

In Bangkok I had the shits badly made it to the lobby of the Hotel and it just all came out and I had shorts on. I got in the lift and my trainers were covered in shit and I had to get in a shower and wash it all off. Luckily I use that hotel frequently so they were more concerned about me than there lobby smelling of shit

Bernie 3:28 Mon Apr 29
Re: Come on admit it,have you ever shat yourself as an adult ?

Whitester. 2:28 Mon Apr 29

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHHAHHAA

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

worm 3:37 Mon Apr 29
Re: Come on admit it,have you ever shat yourself as an adult ?

I'm sure I've told this one before but I'm happy to bore you all again.

I'd been seeing Mrs worm for just a couple of weeks, I think this might even have been the first time I stayed over.

We'd been out the night before on the cocktails and were lying in bed the next morning when a farting competition started,
After a couple each, she declares herself the winner and goes off to the kitchen.

I got up to get in the shower.
I'm there a few mins when another fart brews, Not wanting to waste the acoustics I've been provided with, I squeezed it out a bit harder for maximum noise.

You all know what happened.

She's now on her way down the hallway to join me in the shower, I'm frantically trying to push shit down the plughole, I cant have her come in so I hold the door lock, one of those slider things.

She tells me to let her in, i tell her no way.
She leaves. Huge sigh of relief from me.
I'm just poking the last bit down the plughole when the bathroom door flies open. She's back, armed with a butter knife to open the door.

"Dont come in!!!"

"Why not?....it fucking stinks in here"

I point down at the plug, she pisses herself, knowing what I've done.

amazingly she didnt kick me out and we were together 3 years

Crassus 3:52 Mon Apr 29
Re: Come on admit it,have you ever shat yourself as an adult ?

Mrs Worm is clearly a lady of ‘breeding’ - wonder which Swiss finishing school she attended

worm 3:54 Mon Apr 29
Re: Come on admit it,have you ever shat yourself as an adult ?

Same one as your missus probably

Westham67 4:01 Mon Apr 29
Re: Come on admit it,have you ever shat yourself as an adult ?

Bernie 3:28 Mon Apr 29

hahahaha

On The Ball 4:43 Mon Apr 29
Re: Come on admit it,have you ever shat yourself as an adult ?

I watched an England-India ODI in Udaipur in India (the match was in England, we were in a cafe) in 2004. Vikram Solanki got a good score for us, which prompted the cafe owner to point out that Solanki's uncle lived a couple of doors away. Se we all enjoyed it together - they were happy that a local lad was doing well for England.

None of that is relevant really. Steve Harmison took a hat-trick with the last three balls of the match, and as he got the third I leapt from my seat - but my bowels stayed behind. Had to waddle to the hole in the floor and try not to spray my feet with shit. Didn't go back.

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